80% mental

First off, I wanted to post pictures from my apartment... there's only the living room and dining room and kitchen that I am finished with and ready to show off. Love it!!!!!

Ok, well other than that not much has changed regarding my situation, but I am hoping my attitude has. Last night I was doing my devotions and I came upon a startling relization. Actually the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and revealed my character to me in a not so pleasent way. I realized that I have allowed my attitude about this move to infect my soul. I have allowed Satan to weasel his way into my heart and mind and to spread lies about who I am and who I am called to become. I allowed the lies of lonliness, unworthiness, fear and self pity to consume my thoughts and attitude. That is not who I am! You and I both know that and yet, because I am not in my comfort zone, I completely fell off of my faith and my foundation.

I am the daughter of the King. I am a princess in the high Ccourts of Zion and I am acting like the war has been fought and I have lost. Yet, I know that God has not given me a spirit of timidy, but a spirit of power and of love (2 Timothy 1:7). I am not acting like that though. I am allowing my fears, my being uncomfortable to dictate my actions and attitudes. So, I resolved to let go. I Rresolved to stand up and stare Satan directly in the eyes and tell him to get behind me. My God is bigger, he is more powerful and he knows the plans he has for me! I will rest in His promises and no longer allow Satan to be the one who tells me what I will and will not do.

Truth be told, I am ready to put this past week behind me and start over. I will look at this as an adventure and I will no longer be afriad to do things on my own. Sabrina hit me with this nugget of truth today.... "You are allowing yourself to believe that you are a person who has to do things with other people, but what if you believed you were a person who can do things on their own, who can try new things and doesn't have to have someone else as a crutch." It is so true.
When I was a senior in high school I was on the diving team. I had never actually been on the diving team before and the only time I really took any instruction in diving before that was a one week diving camp at the Air Force Academy. But I decided that was what I was going to do and so I did it, on my own. The first lesson I learned from Coach RoseE was that diving is about 80% mental and 20% skill. I thought she was crazy...I mean seriously you are telling me that a reverse double pike dive has 20%  of skill involved in it...Ha I have been on that board and there is a lot more to that then 20% skill. But than I learned how to do the inward dive. You stand backwards on the end of the board, jump and touch your toes all while facing the board, the closer to the board the better. Yep, you actually see the board on your way down. And I quickly realized that 80% mental is darn right. On the days that I walked onto the board excited to dive and loving the inward, I nailed it. On days when I was unfocused, stressed out, or allowed my nerves to get the best of me, I flopped...literally belly flopped, back flopped, side flopped, I flopped.
I had a dream last night about being at the pool on a diving board.... 80% mental....here we go!

A week in the Desert!

  Today marks the first full Wweek of living in Tempe and in my apartment! Yay, I made it a week.  To be honest, this has not been an easy process. I can’t say that I believed this move was going to be easy, but I really didn’t think it would be this difficult either. I have a huge new respect for kids whose parents are in the military. Moving is hard, but even harder is being the new kid in town. Feelings of loneliness creep in and even though I know that I just got here, feelings of anxiousness constantly wash over me.  I am ready to start school, ready to have things to be accountable for, and people to invest in. Those of you who know me know that I crave busyness. I love having a long list of things to accomplish and places to go. This week of not having much to do is testing me.  I realize that this time is probably a gift from God. Time to read an entire book all day if I want to, which by the way I am reading “The Art of Racing” by Garth Stein and it is awesome, time to mindlessly watch T.V. or go to the movies, or explore Arizona, but the realistic side of me always jumps in. I get caught up in thinking, “I could have been doing job interviews this whole week, or training for work, or even putting in 40 hours.” I am trying to be better at being alone without being lonely, more on that later but here are some highlights from the week.

1.       Finally having my own apartment, which I can decorate my way.  The furniture matches and it stays clean…LOVE IT! Pictures to come. Each room has a color scheme or theme.

2.       My advisor finally got back to me about when classes start, orientation and internship placement options. I had sent her e-mails starting in May asking for more details about my graduate program and what was required. I got very few responses and even fewer questions answered. Then I started panicking because a few grad students I had met were talking about program orientations. I started freaking out… I hadn’t heard about any orientations for my program. Another e-mail sent. Finally a week before classes started I got an e-mail… no worries, I have orientation next Wednesday.

3.       I went to the Phoenix Zoo with a friend and her boyfriend. So hot… we conquered two hours of the zoo in 100 degree weather!!! Yes an accomplishment. The zoo is awesome but we probably won’t be returning until Christmas. The zoo is only open 7am-2pm. That’s how hot it gets here. And even at 7am it’s in the high 80’s.

4.       I LOOVE A/C. I love my truck that blasts A/C. I love misters in shopping centers!!!

5.       The girl who lives above me, we’ll call her Sabrina, has a dog as well and is a grad student. We hung out and are forcing the pups to be friends. So far, so good. Her dog, we’ll call him Sergio, is hilarious and he and Ditto get along pretty well. This is good because after living with three other dogs all summer, he keeps giving me pitiful puppy eyes and making me feel guilty about the move.

6.       Went to a church on Sunday in Chandler and they are doing a flash mob on Saturday to promote their new series!!! Being in a flash mob is on my bucket list, I may participate Saturday…if so, more to come!

All in all, this has been a challenging week. But God never fails!!! He has been so sweet to me and has provided little surprises each day to keep me motivated and pursuing Zion.