So I have been putting off writing my blog for a few weeks because... well things are changing...I don't know if any of my 5 followers remember Zenon Girl of the 21st Century (Madeline and Janelle, I am expecting you to both know this reference)...but "Zetus Lupetus!" is the main character's way of expressing excitement/disbelief...I use the word often because I work with children and well...it's just so gosh darn fun to say....anyway, I feel like Zetus Lupetus!!! sums up my life quite accurately right now...I am so torn on what I want to write so I well probably break this into two separate blogs...right now I am going to chat about something super heavy on my heart, but oh the next blog will contain just what is going on down here in the desert... let's just say, God never runs out of surprises!
Earlier this evening I flipped on the tv and an ABC special was on... I am not going to go into a lot of detail about it because the special was a reflection of the major events of 2011....many of which are very controversial...but anyway as I am watching my heart continues to crumble into pieces... I am watching the world in it's most evil days and all of it has been filmed...for who to see? Are these the images we want to show our children... is this what we want to stand for?...brother against brother, celebrating the death of rulers and watching those placed in positions of authority, for protection... becoming the ones that we need to be protected from... my heart cries out... and I know if this is what I get from watching 3 minutes of tv (I couldn't bear to watch anymore, I had to turn the tv off and fall on my knees in prayer)...how much more must God be crying? He sees it all... and knows the plans in men's hearts...
While I was on my knees I had this vision of a man who has the opportunity to go all out and build the most amazing house anyone could imagine... I mean, beauty in every room, something for everyone.. each piece selected with so much care and precision... down to the paint color, the trim... the candles and lighting and doorways...and then when the house is perfect...when there is nothing to do but sit back and look at this amazing dream house this man decides that he wants to share all this beauty with someone else...wants to let his house be a house...to be a place for memories and for others to build lives in the house...so he invites his children to come live with him...and instead of seeing the house for all the work that the man has put into it and how much he wants to share his work... the children see the house for what they can take from it or do to it...they ignore the man and begin to divy up bedrooms and areas...instead of living together they live in areas and instead of making memories they begin to make territories and all the while destroying everything in the home...walking on the carpets with muddy shoes...breaking lamps and dropping dishes...sliding down banisters and pressing fingers up against the glass...being reckless and not caring about all of the work that went into it...yes a few of the children pickup after the others and are worried about what the man is thinking and about the work he put into the house...and even fewer of the children have actually discovered the man's private room and have taken the time to go in and spend time with him...
The world as I see it is the house... and God is going to go home and clean the mess up but he is patiently waiting to see if we will figure it out first... my heart just aches for what we have let the house become...but then I am so excited because I know that there will be a new heaven and a new earth and man what a party that will be!!!!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
It's Fall!!! I think.
Oh my goodness! I can't believe I haven't been on here for over a month. Time must be flying but it doesn't feel like it out in the desert. Lol, I hear about snow and colder weather but down here it is still shorts, flip flops and frappuccinos. It's weird to come to Starbucks and see the fall drinks out but then read the temperature and it's still high 80's and 90's outside. The nice thing is Starbucks tries to freeze you out, so I am typing this wearing a long sleeve sweater and drinking a hot soy chai with caramel....and then I'll go outside and it will be back to the heat.
Life here is chugging along. Test taking and paper writing. Meetings for work and trying to manage finances. School is getting crazy busy and the reality that I am a maters student in an accelerated program hit hard these past two weeks. At one point I had a midterm with two essays, a take home midterm with two more essays, do an assessment on a child, write a paper about the assement, a journal about my internship, write a research paper...oh and work 2 jobs and go to class....lol all in one week...needless to say I was a wee bit overwhelmed. But the nice thing is it was the same for the rest of my cohort, and most of them had a ton of other stresses I didn't have (husbands, kids, death in the family etc) We were all a bit of a wreck...oh and during this fantastic week both of our professors went out of town and left us to our own devices. After some complaining and whinning to each other, we all decided it was a bit too much and somehow I was delegated to write an email asking for an extension on the research paper. That is always nerve racking to me,because I am the person that if you give me a deadline, it will be done. I signed up for the program, I knew what I was getting into and I should be able to get it done without any favors...however after a long phone conversation with my mom she told me to write the email. I did it and.....we got the extension. So cool, but also probably the only one we will ever get in this program. We used a life line pretty early in the game. But oh well, we are all in one piece and sane.
Other news, I am now working with a child that we think has sensory intergration issues and dyspraxia. Fascinating kiddo and I am learning so much. I can't really give much more information for confidentiality purposes, but look it up on the internet, so cool how the brain and body can be different. My other little guy is making some good strides. Learning lots of words and now we are working on using them in play. It's interesting, to say the least.
I also had a phone chat with one of my dearest mentors....and man God has blessed me so much with this woman. I love getting to talk to her and she seems to just key into my feelings and emotions and I don't have to give any explanation. She read this verse to me this week and my outlook has totally been changed. Not only that but God has also provided some other bits of wisdom and inspiration this past week, take a look!!!
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will giver her back her vineyards and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came out of Egypt." Hosea 2:14-15 (Emphasis added)
And this song!!! I just heard it today at a church that I visited. I had previously gone to this church and had major issues with the church, but I thought I would give it another try. I prayed that God would just speak to me through the service and I heard this song and.... well you see...
The Desert Song by Hillsong
Life here is chugging along. Test taking and paper writing. Meetings for work and trying to manage finances. School is getting crazy busy and the reality that I am a maters student in an accelerated program hit hard these past two weeks. At one point I had a midterm with two essays, a take home midterm with two more essays, do an assessment on a child, write a paper about the assement, a journal about my internship, write a research paper...oh and work 2 jobs and go to class....lol all in one week...needless to say I was a wee bit overwhelmed. But the nice thing is it was the same for the rest of my cohort, and most of them had a ton of other stresses I didn't have (husbands, kids, death in the family etc) We were all a bit of a wreck...oh and during this fantastic week both of our professors went out of town and left us to our own devices. After some complaining and whinning to each other, we all decided it was a bit too much and somehow I was delegated to write an email asking for an extension on the research paper. That is always nerve racking to me,because I am the person that if you give me a deadline, it will be done. I signed up for the program, I knew what I was getting into and I should be able to get it done without any favors...however after a long phone conversation with my mom she told me to write the email. I did it and.....we got the extension. So cool, but also probably the only one we will ever get in this program. We used a life line pretty early in the game. But oh well, we are all in one piece and sane.
Other news, I am now working with a child that we think has sensory intergration issues and dyspraxia. Fascinating kiddo and I am learning so much. I can't really give much more information for confidentiality purposes, but look it up on the internet, so cool how the brain and body can be different. My other little guy is making some good strides. Learning lots of words and now we are working on using them in play. It's interesting, to say the least.
I also had a phone chat with one of my dearest mentors....and man God has blessed me so much with this woman. I love getting to talk to her and she seems to just key into my feelings and emotions and I don't have to give any explanation. She read this verse to me this week and my outlook has totally been changed. Not only that but God has also provided some other bits of wisdom and inspiration this past week, take a look!!!
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will giver her back her vineyards and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came out of Egypt." Hosea 2:14-15 (Emphasis added)
O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, " Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away."Then give me grace to rise and follow thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.
Jesus I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.
(Both from the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan)And this song!!! I just heard it today at a church that I visited. I had previously gone to this church and had major issues with the church, but I thought I would give it another try. I prayed that God would just speak to me through the service and I heard this song and.... well you see...
The Desert Song by Hillsong
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than goldSo refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battleAnd triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
I know, I know, I know!!!!!! God is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than goldSo refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battleAnd triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
I know, I know, I know!!!!!! God is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Just For Kicks
This is kind of just a random entry. I have been slacking on the blog so I am going to do my best to catch up on all that and more.
So first off, let's see I went to my first professional conference. The Infant Toddler Mental Health Coalition was held in Chandler, AZ and had a very prestigious infant development specialist as the key note speaker. Our professors are ga ga for this guy and his wife's work, so it was fun to meet and listen to the person whose books we are reading and whose attachment theory we are being trained in. The conference itself was pretty interesting. I attended two breakout sessions on identifying traumatic abuse and the adult attachment findings. Overall, I enjoyed getting to meet people in the field that I am going into and being able to see what things are on the top of the agenda regarding infant and toddler intervention, and all of the possibilities that hold for me in my chosen career. I have never been surrounded by people who have the same particular interest in the things that I have deemed so important in my life, so it was fun to share my passion with others who hold the same passions.
School is going pretty well. I started my internship finally, a few weeks ago and am working at a child developmental lab. For the majority of my time, I am just doing child care, but I was also assigned to help observe and collect data, as well as participate in therapies for a young preschooler who has language delays in both English and his native language. I am excited about this new aspect of my internship. I was resentful at first that I had to settle for working in child care again as my intership, after all I had left Fort Collins, to move here and gain more knowledge about infants and toddlers, yet I was again working with preschoolers in a child care center, which I could have been doing in Fort Collins without ever having to move. But now that I have a specific child to focus on and collect data on, especially one with language delays, the process of going to work is now more purposeful. I am still hoping to do an internship next semester working with infants though, and hopefully teenage mothers and fathers. I am praying that a position will open up for me and that I will be able to do both.
Socially things are picking up. A friend of mine that I met at a failed attempt to join a Bible study, is now my new "let's try something new" buddy. She is up for anything which is great. We went rock climbing a few weeks ago, and have agreed to try something new together at least two weekends out of the month. We also tried this brewery that serves Arizona Peach Ale...it is fabulous! I also went to Ballet Under the Stars this weekend with my neighbor. The great thing about Arizona is the weather is very consistent. If this was Colorado, we would have had to prepare for rain, snow and whatever else, but here you just know, it's going to be nice. They planned this whole free evening of watching ballet on blankets in the park. So we got classy and bought fancy cheeses to watch ballet.
Everytime I watch a ballet it makes me miss training, not so much ballet, but just putting in hours on top of hours at the studio and doing the one thing that you are so passionate about. I don't regret not continuing dancing, I think the time I spent not pursuing dancing and doing other things (volleyball, swimming and such) has made me the more rounded individual that I am with tons of memories and great friends. However, as I was watching I started realizing that I am a professional of very little things, but I have experienced a lot. Not a bad thing, I just tend to try a lot of things, but I don't go on to pursue becoming a professional, or expert of one or a few things. I don't regret not pursuing dance at all, I know that my passion lies elsewhere, but oh how life would be different.
Other news, I will be returning to my beloved Fort Collins in two weekends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to be surrounded by the people I love and miss, and I will get to see my sister and parents which means...added Bonus! There is just something about knowing I get to go back and see the faces that know me and love me, and that we already have a foundation based on love and living life together that just gets my blood a pumpin'! That stupid theme song from Cheers literally brings tears to my eyes everytime it comes on..ok not really, but I can totally relate..."I want to be where everybody knows my name."
My attitude about being here has improved a lot though. The bus no longer scares me, I am more comfortable trying things and going here and there by myself. God is providing and I know he's got my back... (in the words of my dad). One cool God provides moment...parking at ASU not only is a pain but is also expensive, however on days that I work more than 5 hours I prefer to drive to campus. So there is this parking lot that a church allows students to park in for $5 all day, which is a steal here, but it is pretty much always full by the time I get there. So I decided that I was just going to ask God for a parking space the night before in my prayers and fully trust that he would provide. The next day I got to the lot and pulled in, fully trusting that God had a spot just for me... the guy that mans the lot and collects money came up to my car and I had my $5 bill in my hand ready to hand it over for my God picked space. However, instead of saying, "yes right this way," he said,"I'm full, no parking." Wait, what? God picked my spot out I just know it! So disheartened I put my car in gear and prepared to turn around, but......right that moment the brake lights on the car in the space right in front of me lit up and....a spot!!!!!! I rolled my window down again and yelled, "SIR? SIR? Can I have that spot?" Surprised, he follwed my gaze and saw the empty spot. Pointing the way I follwed the man to my God picked spot, gave thanks to my Father and paid my money! God provides....I should also mention that catty corner to the space I had taken was an empty spot, but whatever, I digress :)
Here are a few fun pictures that Madeline took this summer in the blaring heat...
So first off, let's see I went to my first professional conference. The Infant Toddler Mental Health Coalition was held in Chandler, AZ and had a very prestigious infant development specialist as the key note speaker. Our professors are ga ga for this guy and his wife's work, so it was fun to meet and listen to the person whose books we are reading and whose attachment theory we are being trained in. The conference itself was pretty interesting. I attended two breakout sessions on identifying traumatic abuse and the adult attachment findings. Overall, I enjoyed getting to meet people in the field that I am going into and being able to see what things are on the top of the agenda regarding infant and toddler intervention, and all of the possibilities that hold for me in my chosen career. I have never been surrounded by people who have the same particular interest in the things that I have deemed so important in my life, so it was fun to share my passion with others who hold the same passions.
School is going pretty well. I started my internship finally, a few weeks ago and am working at a child developmental lab. For the majority of my time, I am just doing child care, but I was also assigned to help observe and collect data, as well as participate in therapies for a young preschooler who has language delays in both English and his native language. I am excited about this new aspect of my internship. I was resentful at first that I had to settle for working in child care again as my intership, after all I had left Fort Collins, to move here and gain more knowledge about infants and toddlers, yet I was again working with preschoolers in a child care center, which I could have been doing in Fort Collins without ever having to move. But now that I have a specific child to focus on and collect data on, especially one with language delays, the process of going to work is now more purposeful. I am still hoping to do an internship next semester working with infants though, and hopefully teenage mothers and fathers. I am praying that a position will open up for me and that I will be able to do both.
Socially things are picking up. A friend of mine that I met at a failed attempt to join a Bible study, is now my new "let's try something new" buddy. She is up for anything which is great. We went rock climbing a few weeks ago, and have agreed to try something new together at least two weekends out of the month. We also tried this brewery that serves Arizona Peach Ale...it is fabulous! I also went to Ballet Under the Stars this weekend with my neighbor. The great thing about Arizona is the weather is very consistent. If this was Colorado, we would have had to prepare for rain, snow and whatever else, but here you just know, it's going to be nice. They planned this whole free evening of watching ballet on blankets in the park. So we got classy and bought fancy cheeses to watch ballet.
Everytime I watch a ballet it makes me miss training, not so much ballet, but just putting in hours on top of hours at the studio and doing the one thing that you are so passionate about. I don't regret not continuing dancing, I think the time I spent not pursuing dancing and doing other things (volleyball, swimming and such) has made me the more rounded individual that I am with tons of memories and great friends. However, as I was watching I started realizing that I am a professional of very little things, but I have experienced a lot. Not a bad thing, I just tend to try a lot of things, but I don't go on to pursue becoming a professional, or expert of one or a few things. I don't regret not pursuing dance at all, I know that my passion lies elsewhere, but oh how life would be different.
Other news, I will be returning to my beloved Fort Collins in two weekends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to be surrounded by the people I love and miss, and I will get to see my sister and parents which means...added Bonus! There is just something about knowing I get to go back and see the faces that know me and love me, and that we already have a foundation based on love and living life together that just gets my blood a pumpin'! That stupid theme song from Cheers literally brings tears to my eyes everytime it comes on..ok not really, but I can totally relate..."I want to be where everybody knows my name."
My attitude about being here has improved a lot though. The bus no longer scares me, I am more comfortable trying things and going here and there by myself. God is providing and I know he's got my back... (in the words of my dad). One cool God provides moment...parking at ASU not only is a pain but is also expensive, however on days that I work more than 5 hours I prefer to drive to campus. So there is this parking lot that a church allows students to park in for $5 all day, which is a steal here, but it is pretty much always full by the time I get there. So I decided that I was just going to ask God for a parking space the night before in my prayers and fully trust that he would provide. The next day I got to the lot and pulled in, fully trusting that God had a spot just for me... the guy that mans the lot and collects money came up to my car and I had my $5 bill in my hand ready to hand it over for my God picked space. However, instead of saying, "yes right this way," he said,"I'm full, no parking." Wait, what? God picked my spot out I just know it! So disheartened I put my car in gear and prepared to turn around, but......right that moment the brake lights on the car in the space right in front of me lit up and....a spot!!!!!! I rolled my window down again and yelled, "SIR? SIR? Can I have that spot?" Surprised, he follwed my gaze and saw the empty spot. Pointing the way I follwed the man to my God picked spot, gave thanks to my Father and paid my money! God provides....I should also mention that catty corner to the space I had taken was an empty spot, but whatever, I digress :)
Here are a few fun pictures that Madeline took this summer in the blaring heat...
Love Love!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
I'm a Professional?
I am almost at my one month mark of being in Arizona. School has started and things are beginning to feel comfortable, not homey, but comfortable. Little successes thus far...
1. I can successfully navigate from my house to Phoenix, Glendale, Target, Starbucks and back without getting lost or having to use my GPS....!!!! Yay, believe me, instant stress reliever.
2. I am in the running for two jobs...both of which I am excited about, just waiting for the confirmation about whether or not I "officially" have the job. I will inform you more about that as I become more informed.
3. I drove to Henderson, Nevada this weekend all by myself and made it there and back!!!
4. School has started and I have made it to all of my classes on time via the bus! As crazy as it sounds, riding the bus was my biggest fear about starting grad school period. How funny, I am sure plenty of 5-year olds boarded the bus with great excitement and I was terrified. I woke up in a panic numerous nights after dreaming I missed the bus, or rode all the way to Vegas on one, or I left my shoe on it. Seriously, I was freaking out. Lol, now I actually enjoy riding the bus. Waiting for it to come is the worse part because by the time the bus comes, I am dripping sweat and look like I have to run a mile just to get to the bus stop. The bus stop is directly in front of my apartment complex. :)
So there you have it, God has been so great and has provided so many blessings, which I didn't doubt he would but it is fun to be able to look back on them all now. School is pretty relaxed. I am in a program with 12, that's right 12 other Ppeople. We are a baker's dozen of Infant mental health practitioners. The program is run by a husband and wife team who are just plain adorable. We have Bob on Tuesdays for our infant development class, and then Wednesday we have both Barb and Bob for three hours for our observation and reflection seminar and then Barb for our assessment class Wednesday evenings. My cohort is all females and I am one of the youngest people in the program. Most are married with kids, jobs and tons of life experience, but we all fit together pretty well. It's a weird feeling right now because on campus I feel so much older than everyone else, but when I am in classes I feel like the baby.
The program itself is quite interesting. This semester is focusing on learning how to observe and reflect about our feelings...that's right, FEELINGS. We were assigned to find a family that has an infant under the age of two and twice a month observe the parent-child interaction and environment and then journal about how it makes us feel. I don't think I have used the term "I feel" since junior year of college in my honors seminars. My amazing God-sister and her husband agreed to be my observation family, hence the driving to Nevada this weekend, and I have loved getting to watch the interactions between them and their son. It's interesting to take the role of observer and yet to be considered a professional in the field. I feel like I am learning new things all the time and then other people look to me for answers and help. It's kind of cool to be able to offer up articles and theories and personal experiences to families. I am looking forward to getting to move forward and put more of what I am learning into practice and hopefully influencing others for the better.
I am also getting excited to become a parent myself, not that that is in the near future to my knowledge, but reading and observing the parent-child relationship and the Uuniqueness that comes along with that makes me excited to experience that in my own life. I am curious to see how I respond and what hopes and goals and challenges God presents me in the blessing of children. More so, I am excited to know what my spouse will Ooffer and how we will balance/ challenge each other in the efforts to raise our own family.
The more I learn, the more I hunger for knowledge. I am so confident that this is where God wants me just because I crave being in a position to learn and do more in the infant-family practice field. I am not sure what the rest of this year will offer, and I am sure this first semester is just a nice way to transition us into the crazy semesters that are to follow, but I think I am up to the challenge. After all, I am a professional now ;)
I am going to close with this picture of the crazy dust storms down here. I myself haven't been caught directly in one, but this is from my back patio. God is so beautifully mighty!
1. I can successfully navigate from my house to Phoenix, Glendale, Target, Starbucks and back without getting lost or having to use my GPS....!!!! Yay, believe me, instant stress reliever.
2. I am in the running for two jobs...both of which I am excited about, just waiting for the confirmation about whether or not I "officially" have the job. I will inform you more about that as I become more informed.
3. I drove to Henderson, Nevada this weekend all by myself and made it there and back!!!
4. School has started and I have made it to all of my classes on time via the bus! As crazy as it sounds, riding the bus was my biggest fear about starting grad school period. How funny, I am sure plenty of 5-year olds boarded the bus with great excitement and I was terrified. I woke up in a panic numerous nights after dreaming I missed the bus, or rode all the way to Vegas on one, or I left my shoe on it. Seriously, I was freaking out. Lol, now I actually enjoy riding the bus. Waiting for it to come is the worse part because by the time the bus comes, I am dripping sweat and look like I have to run a mile just to get to the bus stop. The bus stop is directly in front of my apartment complex. :)
So there you have it, God has been so great and has provided so many blessings, which I didn't doubt he would but it is fun to be able to look back on them all now. School is pretty relaxed. I am in a program with 12, that's right 12 other Ppeople. We are a baker's dozen of Infant mental health practitioners. The program is run by a husband and wife team who are just plain adorable. We have Bob on Tuesdays for our infant development class, and then Wednesday we have both Barb and Bob for three hours for our observation and reflection seminar and then Barb for our assessment class Wednesday evenings. My cohort is all females and I am one of the youngest people in the program. Most are married with kids, jobs and tons of life experience, but we all fit together pretty well. It's a weird feeling right now because on campus I feel so much older than everyone else, but when I am in classes I feel like the baby.
The program itself is quite interesting. This semester is focusing on learning how to observe and reflect about our feelings...that's right, FEELINGS. We were assigned to find a family that has an infant under the age of two and twice a month observe the parent-child interaction and environment and then journal about how it makes us feel. I don't think I have used the term "I feel" since junior year of college in my honors seminars. My amazing God-sister and her husband agreed to be my observation family, hence the driving to Nevada this weekend, and I have loved getting to watch the interactions between them and their son. It's interesting to take the role of observer and yet to be considered a professional in the field. I feel like I am learning new things all the time and then other people look to me for answers and help. It's kind of cool to be able to offer up articles and theories and personal experiences to families. I am looking forward to getting to move forward and put more of what I am learning into practice and hopefully influencing others for the better.
I am also getting excited to become a parent myself, not that that is in the near future to my knowledge, but reading and observing the parent-child relationship and the Uuniqueness that comes along with that makes me excited to experience that in my own life. I am curious to see how I respond and what hopes and goals and challenges God presents me in the blessing of children. More so, I am excited to know what my spouse will Ooffer and how we will balance/ challenge each other in the efforts to raise our own family.
The more I learn, the more I hunger for knowledge. I am so confident that this is where God wants me just because I crave being in a position to learn and do more in the infant-family practice field. I am not sure what the rest of this year will offer, and I am sure this first semester is just a nice way to transition us into the crazy semesters that are to follow, but I think I am up to the challenge. After all, I am a professional now ;)
Saturday, August 20, 2011
80% mental
First off, I wanted to post pictures from my apartment... there's only the living room and dining room and kitchen that I am finished with and ready to show off. Love it!!!!!
Ok, well other than that not much has changed regarding my situation, but I am hoping my attitude has. Last night I was doing my devotions and I came upon a startling relization. Actually the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and revealed my character to me in a not so pleasent way. I realized that I have allowed my attitude about this move to infect my soul. I have allowed Satan to weasel his way into my heart and mind and to spread lies about who I am and who I am called to become. I allowed the lies of lonliness, unworthiness, fear and self pity to consume my thoughts and attitude. That is not who I am! You and I both know that and yet, because I am not in my comfort zone, I completely fell off of my faith and my foundation.
I am the daughter of the King. I am a princess in the high Ccourts of Zion and I am acting like the war has been fought and I have lost. Yet, I know that God has not given me a spirit of timidy, but a spirit of power and of love (2 Timothy 1:7). I am not acting like that though. I am allowing my fears, my being uncomfortable to dictate my actions and attitudes. So, I resolved to let go. I Rresolved to stand up and stare Satan directly in the eyes and tell him to get behind me. My God is bigger, he is more powerful and he knows the plans he has for me! I will rest in His promises and no longer allow Satan to be the one who tells me what I will and will not do.
Truth be told, I am ready to put this past week behind me and start over. I will look at this as an adventure and I will no longer be afriad to do things on my own. Sabrina hit me with this nugget of truth today.... "You are allowing yourself to believe that you are a person who has to do things with other people, but what if you believed you were a person who can do things on their own, who can try new things and doesn't have to have someone else as a crutch." It is so true.
When I was a senior in high school I was on the diving team. I had never actually been on the diving team before and the only time I really took any instruction in diving before that was a one week diving camp at the Air Force Academy. But I decided that was what I was going to do and so I did it, on my own. The first lesson I learned from Coach RoseE was that diving is about 80% mental and 20% skill. I thought she was crazy...I mean seriously you are telling me that a reverse double pike dive has 20% of skill involved in it...Ha I have been on that board and there is a lot more to that then 20% skill. But than I learned how to do the inward dive. You stand backwards on the end of the board, jump and touch your toes all while facing the board, the closer to the board the better. Yep, you actually see the board on your way down. And I quickly realized that 80% mental is darn right. On the days that I walked onto the board excited to dive and loving the inward, I nailed it. On days when I was unfocused, stressed out, or allowed my nerves to get the best of me, I flopped...literally belly flopped, back flopped, side flopped, I flopped.
I had a dream last night about being at the pool on a diving board.... 80% mental....here we go!
Ok, well other than that not much has changed regarding my situation, but I am hoping my attitude has. Last night I was doing my devotions and I came upon a startling relization. Actually the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and revealed my character to me in a not so pleasent way. I realized that I have allowed my attitude about this move to infect my soul. I have allowed Satan to weasel his way into my heart and mind and to spread lies about who I am and who I am called to become. I allowed the lies of lonliness, unworthiness, fear and self pity to consume my thoughts and attitude. That is not who I am! You and I both know that and yet, because I am not in my comfort zone, I completely fell off of my faith and my foundation.
I am the daughter of the King. I am a princess in the high Ccourts of Zion and I am acting like the war has been fought and I have lost. Yet, I know that God has not given me a spirit of timidy, but a spirit of power and of love (2 Timothy 1:7). I am not acting like that though. I am allowing my fears, my being uncomfortable to dictate my actions and attitudes. So, I resolved to let go. I Rresolved to stand up and stare Satan directly in the eyes and tell him to get behind me. My God is bigger, he is more powerful and he knows the plans he has for me! I will rest in His promises and no longer allow Satan to be the one who tells me what I will and will not do.
Truth be told, I am ready to put this past week behind me and start over. I will look at this as an adventure and I will no longer be afriad to do things on my own. Sabrina hit me with this nugget of truth today.... "You are allowing yourself to believe that you are a person who has to do things with other people, but what if you believed you were a person who can do things on their own, who can try new things and doesn't have to have someone else as a crutch." It is so true.
When I was a senior in high school I was on the diving team. I had never actually been on the diving team before and the only time I really took any instruction in diving before that was a one week diving camp at the Air Force Academy. But I decided that was what I was going to do and so I did it, on my own. The first lesson I learned from Coach RoseE was that diving is about 80% mental and 20% skill. I thought she was crazy...I mean seriously you are telling me that a reverse double pike dive has 20% of skill involved in it...Ha I have been on that board and there is a lot more to that then 20% skill. But than I learned how to do the inward dive. You stand backwards on the end of the board, jump and touch your toes all while facing the board, the closer to the board the better. Yep, you actually see the board on your way down. And I quickly realized that 80% mental is darn right. On the days that I walked onto the board excited to dive and loving the inward, I nailed it. On days when I was unfocused, stressed out, or allowed my nerves to get the best of me, I flopped...literally belly flopped, back flopped, side flopped, I flopped.
I had a dream last night about being at the pool on a diving board.... 80% mental....here we go!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
A week in the Desert!
Today marks the first full Wweek of living in Tempe and in my apartment! Yay, I made it a week. To be honest, this has not been an easy process. I can’t say that I believed this move was going to be easy, but I really didn’t think it would be this difficult either. I have a huge new respect for kids whose parents are in the military. Moving is hard, but even harder is being the new kid in town. Feelings of loneliness creep in and even though I know that I just got here, feelings of anxiousness constantly wash over me. I am ready to start school, ready to have things to be accountable for, and people to invest in. Those of you who know me know that I crave busyness. I love having a long list of things to accomplish and places to go. This week of not having much to do is testing me. I realize that this time is probably a gift from God. Time to read an entire book all day if I want to, which by the way I am reading “The Art of Racing” by Garth Stein and it is awesome, time to mindlessly watch T.V. or go to the movies, or explore Arizona, but the realistic side of me always jumps in. I get caught up in thinking, “I could have been doing job interviews this whole week, or training for work, or even putting in 40 hours.” I am trying to be better at being alone without being lonely, more on that later but here are some highlights from the week.
1. Finally having my own apartment, which I can decorate my way. The furniture matches and it stays clean…LOVE IT! Pictures to come. Each room has a color scheme or theme.
2. My advisor finally got back to me about when classes start, orientation and internship placement options. I had sent her e-mails starting in May asking for more details about my graduate program and what was required. I got very few responses and even fewer questions answered. Then I started panicking because a few grad students I had met were talking about program orientations. I started freaking out… I hadn’t heard about any orientations for my program. Another e-mail sent. Finally a week before classes started I got an e-mail… no worries, I have orientation next Wednesday.
3. I went to the Phoenix Zoo with a friend and her boyfriend. So hot… we conquered two hours of the zoo in 100 degree weather!!! Yes an accomplishment. The zoo is awesome but we probably won’t be returning until Christmas. The zoo is only open 7am-2pm. That’s how hot it gets here. And even at 7am it’s in the high 80’s.
4. I LOOVE A/C. I love my truck that blasts A/C. I love misters in shopping centers!!!
5. The girl who lives above me, we’ll call her Sabrina, has a dog as well and is a grad student. We hung out and are forcing the pups to be friends. So far, so good. Her dog, we’ll call him Sergio, is hilarious and he and Ditto get along pretty well. This is good because after living with three other dogs all summer, he keeps giving me pitiful puppy eyes and making me feel guilty about the move.
6. Went to a church on Sunday in Chandler and they are doing a flash mob on Saturday to promote their new series!!! Being in a flash mob is on my bucket list, I may participate Saturday…if so, more to come!
All in all, this has been a challenging week. But God never fails!!! He has been so sweet to me and has provided little surprises each day to keep me motivated and pursuing Zion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)